You’re going through a tough time right now, I know. You’ve lost friends you spent every weekend with and you’ve lost sight of a dream you thought you had and that’s okay. You’ve grown away from those friends and those dreams, you’re moving onto bigger and better ones.
I don’t want you to feel like a failure because everyone else in your life is moving so quickly. It’s true, they’ll all have degrees whilst you still don’t and that’s okay. Some of them won’t even know what they want to do with those degrees when they have them and that’s okay too. Just remember, you’ll find your path soon, don’t rush to it because you’re scared of being left behind. Everything happens are certain times for certain reasons and there’s nothing wrong with the path you’re on now.
You’re working so hard for a dream you don’t even have yet and yes, you’re going to get knocked down. There’s going to be times when you will have the wind punched out of you and you’re not going to know how to carry on, but you will. Somehow, some way, you will carry on. You will pull yourself together, keep your head up high and you will be the most successful person I know.
If I could speak to you face to face I’d tell you to forgot about them. They’re only going to end in disaster and heartbreak, so why bother? Right? Wrong. Go out there, get your heart broken, be lied to, be cheated on, make the mistakes, fall for the wrong people, say the wrong things and never forget to love unconditionally. You’re too young and ambitious for a partner, I’ll tell you that now. They’ll want all of your time and effort and you’ll never be able to completely give it to them. That’s okay too.
All of these mistakes will teach you though, they will teach you how to be more independent, you will love yourself so much more than you did when you first started this journey. There will be times when you feel lonely, and there will be times you feel like no one in this world wants to help you – but they do. They just aren’t being asked for the help. You may be strong, you may in annoyingly independent, but don’t forget about those relationships you do keep. They love you and want you to succeed almost as much as you want yourself to.
Now this is where you’re going to struggle. Over the next year your going to lose all confidence you have in who you are and what you look like. You’re going to sacrifice your health just to be classed as beautiful. You’re going to slip into societies ideas of perfection and make other people happier than you make yourself. I would normally say, “that’s okay, you’re young” but it’s not.
It’s never okay to forgot who you are and forgot what it means to be healthy. I’m healthier now than I have ever been and I’m at least 14 pounds heavier than I have ever been. My body is covered in fat, it jiggles and has rolls and I love it. I will never be happy dieting or over exercising because it makes me overthink my body and how it should look.
People will call you fat, ugly and that’s not okay, but please don’t let it get to you. If you let it tear you down you’ll hate yourself even more. You are a beautiful young woman who is so much more than a dress size. Show off your lumps and bumps, your curves and swerves and be body beautiful (thank Latrice Royale for that last part.) Because you are body beautiful. No matter what size.
It Gets Better, I Promise
Over the next few years there are things that are going to test you, you’re going to cry until you can’t cry anymore, you’re going to laugh until you cannot laugh anymore. You’re going to go through hell and back just to get to a place where I am today. It’s okay to fail, it’s okay to go wrong, failure is the only way we can truly learn from out mistakes and trust me, you’re going to fail a lot. But you’ll be the better for it. I love you awesome nerd.