It can be hard to understand people at times – I find myself wondering why people care so much about certain things and not about others? I sometimes wonder why people aren’t as passionate about certain things as me? Why don’t the obsess as much as me? Why don’t they get excited over the same things as me? I mean, all the things I love, I love because I think they’re the most amazing things on the planet, but that’s just for me. No one else on this earth speaks the same language as me, that I’ve just come to realise. The other day I came across a video whilst scrolling through the abyss. It explained all the thoughts to me that I could never quite understand – we all show love in different ways. I said this to someone very recently and well, they didn’t take it very well, but honestly, I don’t think they understood what I meant, so let me explain.
I don’t need time to be loved, I need communication and stories. I need the random messages about your neighbour and the enunciative to want to do more. I need someone who takes control and says “this is what we can do”, someone who proves themselves through actions not just relying on “whatever you want to do, babe.” I thrive on expression of the little things, flowers, morning/goodnight messages, opening doors (basically I want a 1920s gentleman.)
Another person may want acts of love. They may want you to prove to them that you love them through gifts and letters and even time itself. They may want to see you more and spend more time with you, but that’s how they show their love. They may thrive on grand gestures of love.
It becomes difficult when two different lovers are together. It’s harder to compromise on love and usually, things go wrong before you can ever talk about the changes. But that’s the only way it will ever work, knowing what each other want from one another is the only way and that’s only accomplished by talking.
Don’t get upset if someone’s not paying attention to the things you love – I’ve had moments where the little things were brushed under the rug and I’ve felt completely rejected, but now I understand that, that’s not their fault. They don’t speak my language so how are they to know that that was important? I haven’t told them after all.
But sometimes though, it isn’t meant to be. That’s just how love works. Love languages can be so different that they repel one another, or they can be similar it’s hard to breathe. It’s all about finding that balance and as I scroll social media today, I smile knowing a lot of those I know have found that exact thing. Yes, some haven’t, me being one of them, but we’re only young. At the end of the day we’re 22 (well, I am) and we have our whole lives to find these perfect lovers.
But, my piece of advice… Don’t look. Let it find you. Let whatever person with whatever language find you, never take for granted what you have and always accept that someone else may want different things out of your relationship. Always respect the little things as well as the lavish gestures of love.
We’ll get there one day.